Don't You Dare
Don't ''Yo''u ''D''are Episode Five, Season Eight, of Cold. Enjoy <3 Back to Shade (almost wrote Storm XD) guys! Enjoy some Brownshade and some struggles <3 Don't You Dare “Excuse me?” I blinked furiously, trying not to let a single tear fall. I was staring in shock at Brownhare. The brown tom stared back calmly, his fur flat. “How dare you tell me I’m never listening to anything you say? I’m the leader here, mind you, and what you’re doing now is unacceptable.” “Shade, please just listen to me,” he pleaded, his yellow eyes drawing me in. He laid his tail on my shoulder in attempt to calm me down. I jerked away from his touch, “Don’t touch me,” I snarled, “Not when we’re not…together.” Brownhare’s eyes clouded with confusion. “Shade, I’m only trying to help. If you could stop being so stubborn and-” I turned swiftly away from him and walked away. Brownhare halfheartedly called after me but I ignored him as I burrowed into my nest, silently sobbing to myself. Would we ever heal? I could hear Brownhare rustling as he settled into his own nest. How dare he? We had fought before, but he had never told me any of the things he did today. Brownhare had confronted me, telling me that I shouldn’t have to shoulder the weight of the entire group by myself. “We have our own opinions, Shade, and all of us are worthy leaders,” he had told me, “You need to trust us to help you.” “Oh, yeah?” I had shot back, “Who was the one who betrayed us to the Underground?” Brownhare had flinched back. “It was an accident,” he had mewed quietly, “and plus, I did it for your sake.” I had looked away, not knowing what to say. But then, Brownhare had added, “You’re not listening to me though-” And that had proceeded to the end of the argument. What would Storm do? Surely she would shoulder the weight by herself and lead everyone onwards. Isn’t that what she did all the time? Why couldn’t I'' do it this time? Was Brownhare accusing me of being a terrible leader? As if he was any better. I curled up tighter, willing me to fall asleep faster. I didn’t want to wake up and face the brown tom again. It would only get worse. But sleep didn’t come to me easily and I pushed myself out of my nest and went out for a walk. Sari’s camp was quiet, though many of the cats were still strewn around the camp, sharing tongues. Sari herself was lying near the entrance, perhaps guarding it. “Is everything alright with your group?” She asked, standing when she saw me approach. “The young one recovered nicely, by the way.” “Everything’s fine,” I reassured her, “and I’m thankful for your medics for treating Wavepaw.” “No problem,” Sari waved her paw, purring, “It was the right thing to do.” I nodded and remembered the reason of this stroll. “I’m just going out for a walk, is that okay?” Sari shrugged, “I wouldn’t suggest it but if you need the cool down, I suppose its fine. There’s plenty of snow in here for you to rub over yourself though.” Her eyes twinkled merrily and I laughed. “Go ahead out though,” Sari mewed kindly, “Do you want me to accompany you?” I shook my head. “I’ll be fine alone. I won’t stray far from your camp.” I passed by the bend in the river that we had hunted in just a few days earlier. For a fleeting moment, I was taken back to when Brownhare and I had just prepared to join the patrol. ''“Are they waiting outside?” the brown tom asked, licking his paw. '' ''“Yeah,” I set my jaw, “They’re going over route plans right now so I decided to wait for you before joining them.” '' ''Brownhare licked my cheek before padding swiftly out of the den. Was it really only three days before that he had given me such affection? I sat by the bend, wanting to dwell in my memories, to remember the best of my relationship with the brown tom. Surely there was some good in the world. ~ “Shade, it’s over.” '' ''I felt the anger ebb away as Brownhare curled his tail around mine, “I’m glad you’re okay.” '' ''“I’m glad you’re okay too.” '' ''Brownhare purred, “You know, you and I have things to do after we settle down, huh?” '' ''I smiled shyly, “Perhaps I have a thing or two to tell you, I don’t know.” '' ''“I’m a traveler,” he reminded me, “But yes, perhaps in time, some old habits could be let go.” '' ''My heart beat faster, “I...I think I love you, Brownhare.” '' ''“I think I love you too.” '' ~ ''I closed my eyes, “You’ve made me happier than I’ve been for the past few months. Even if I just started to know you when Storm disappeared.” '' ''“I’ve never bothered to get close to the group, but you caught my eye.” Brownhare confessed, “And I don’t want to leave you.” '' ''I opened my eyes, and purred, “I’m so glad I got to know you, Brownhare, I love you.” '' ''This time, with certainty, Brownhare replied. '' ''“I love you too.” '' ~ I remembered waiting by his nest every day after he saved Storm from a dreadful wound. That had also happened to me later on, but at the time it was too much to bear. Would he take a blow for me? I didn’t know…perhaps I would never know. ~ The memories faded in and out. I didn’t move from my position until the sun began to rise. I wasn’t tired, despite not sleeping at all, in fact, I felt exhilarated. I needed to talk to Brownhare again. We had to do something before our love tore each other apart. I stood and hurried back to the camp. Brownhare was sitting inside our den, grooming his fur quietly while the others slept. As I entered slowly, he looked up, pinning me down with his gaze. I expected to see some sort of question in his eyes; a question that would confirm my thoughts about him. There was none. I couldn’t keep the disappointment from flooding over my face and I turned my head away as I headed towards my nest, suddenly exhausted. “I’m not sorry.” I froze. Of all the words I expected to come from him, those were the ones I had least expected. I spun around and stared into the depths of his calm eyes. “What?” I asked softly, a sharp sort of hurt entering my tone. He didn’t flinch. “I’m not sorry,” he repeated. I stared at him. Anger pooled in my heart. “Why?” I demanded, “You said all that to hurt me and you’re not sorry?” Brownhare shook his head, “I didn’t mean to hurt or offend you. I wanted to protect you. You do need to listen to other cats’ voices-” I raised a paw, hushing him. “You don’t get to tell me what to do,” I snapped, “After all, you have no leadership abilities that I know of.” The brown tom’s eyes flared with more anger than I normally saw. “Shade, you don’t have the right to judge my actions. We’ve gone over this. Everyone’s forgotten the past, so why won’t you?” ''Because I’m trying to make a valid argument and that’s all I can think of. “Because that still matters!” I said instead. Brownhare shook his head. “If you care about me at all, you’d let the past drift away and you’d embrace the present and dream about the future.” “Is that what you do?” I snorted. The brown tom didn’t reply. I huffed and turned away again. Love was a terrible thing. It was most certainly tearing us apart. I went to go curl up in my nest, but before I made it there, Brownhare spoke up again. “This is what I mean, Shade,” he mewed softly, “You’re not letting me help you. I want to help you with your decisions. Our lives are not your responsibilities.” I stiffened, but this time I didn’t turn or reply. Instead, I made it to my nest and collapsed. Brownhare continued. “We’re here because fate brought us together. You’re not leading us on an expedition where you are expected to bring us all back alive. You didn’t even need to take responsibility. Any of us, excluding the apprentices, could have taken leadership. Or, we could have all decided on something together like we did back on the island. How is this different? “I just want you to listen to me. In our fights before, I never got in a word. You wouldn’t let me. I couldn’t apologize, I couldn’t tell you what I thought, I couldn’t even tell you I loved you. “And what’s worse was Storm’s affection for you. She saw you run away crying and accused me. Everything was my fault. I wasn’t given a choice. “I’m not telling you that you should give up. I’m just saying that we can help you – I'' can help you. I want a say in all this, I don’t want the argument to be pinned on me like before. Perhaps we don’t know each other as well as we thought.” He paused for a second and I could feel tears run down my face. I never knew he felt like this. I felt like the worse cat ever. But at the same time, I still couldn’t face him because I knew I would hear his accusing words, the words that would cut through my heart. Then he said the unthinkable. “Perhaps this is our breaking point, Shade.” I waited for him to say more, but he fell silent. After a bit, I heard pawsteps and then he was gone. I was left waiting in the darkness, waiting for the new day. I let the tears fall, knowing that he was finally telling me what he thought. What he felt in all those arguments we had. Maybe he was right. Maybe this ''was our breaking point. But that only made me cry harder, and when the sun fully rose, I was still huddled in my nest, sobbing. I cried for everything that has gone wrong in our lives. I cried for everything I couldn’t have. The End. Sorry I made this one so tragic! In a way both Brownhare and Shade are at fault, and they’re just realizing how fragile their relationship is. <3 Category:Fan Fictions Category:Cchen3's Fanfics Category:Cold